RSVPs, drop-off vs stay, gifts, allergies and thank-yous - the unwritten rules of Melbourne kids' party culture, written down.

Kids' party etiquette has shifted a lot in the last decade. Here's the current Melbourne consensus on the small social questions every parent eventually faces.

RSVP within 5 days - and actually turn up

A late or missing RSVP throws off catering, lolly bags and the entertainer's program. Reply within five days of receiving the invite, and if your child can't make it on the day (illness happens), send a quick message before the party starts. "Yes" then ghosting is the cardinal sin.

Drop-off vs stay: read the invite

Under 4: parents stay, always. Ages 4–6: stay unless the host explicitly says "drop-off welcome". Ages 7+: drop-off is now the default in most Melbourne primary schools. If the invite is unclear, just ask the host - don't guess.

Gifts: $25–$40 is the Melbourne norm

For school-friend parties in 2026, $25–$40 is the comfortable range. Close family friends spend more, classmates-you-don't-know-well spend less. Group gifts (3–4 parents going in together for a bigger present) are increasingly popular and very welcomed.

"No gifts please" - take it seriously

If the invite says no gifts, respect it. A handmade card from your child is perfect. Showing up with a present anyway puts the host in an awkward spot and embarrasses the other guests who followed the request.

Allergies: declare them at RSVP

Don't wait until the cake comes out. Tell the host at RSVP so they can plan food and lolly bags. Equally, hosts: ask about allergies in the invite - it's now expected.

Siblings: only if invited

Unless the invite says "siblings welcome", assume they're not. Catering, party bags and entertainer head-counts are planned tightly. If you have no childcare option, message the host privately and ask.

Thank-you messages

A short text or a photo of your child with their gift, sent within a week, closes the loop beautifully. Handwritten cards are lovely but no longer expected.